Sunday Musing - 2018 so far

So far 2018 has been like the last few years - full of ups and downs. 

It's been busy on the home front with renovations on the go and health flare ups. Balance has been difficult but I am slowly chipping away at it all. The fibromyalgia kicks my butt most days than not, but I try to focus on the thing in front of me. Sometimes that distraction doesn't work, so I usually have some afternoon naps to balance me out or take some time out to watch a TV show or two.

I started off the year wonderfully with new pre-made covers but unfortunately I haven't been able to maintain that work.

courtesy of Pixabay

On the writing front - 

• I submitted The Book That Kept on Going. 
• Completed 3 OWLs (Online courses) via RWAus, though two of them I really didn't participate much. I'm glad I have the information when I need to refer back.
• Writing Mojo online course (with Juliet Madison) - helped start kicking my butt back into thinking about writing consistently.   Unfortunately I only did a few of the units at the time because I had a CFS crash that lasted a while. Next step is for me to have a read through the rest of the units.
• I undertook Fiona McIntosh's Signature MasterClass - and it was amazing. Since I've been chipping away at this for a while, I had heard a lot of information before - but having all the information in one place in such an easy to understand matter-of-fact manner was indeed a boon. It was perfect for the complete newbies in the class.  I met some amazing people and hope to cheer them on to publication success.
• Both the Writing Mojo and MasterClass made me realise that because of my lack of energy, I had been putting pressure on myself to write a clean first drafts. I have never done this, never being my process. Of course, this stifled my creativity. No wonder I couldn't get to my ideas. I have given myself permission to not care and just get the story down. I can always edit. 
• I have about 7,000 words on a new fantasy manuscript. Since this story has been in my head for a long time, I'm giving myself permission to allow it to change. 
• This is not to say the invisible barrier between me and my stories has disappeared. I've struggled to get to writing the last couple of weeks, but I'm taking it as 'time off' that is part of the plan. I have, however, managed to get some words written by hand in a notebook. 
• I've gone to most of the writing meetings so far this year, which going by my one attendance last year is a huge improvement.
• I'm working in the background on of the DarkSide DownUnder's website and writing up the DarkSider News posts. Again, slower than before but one step at a time. 
• Rebranding and self-publishing is on the back-burner for now. 

Swings and roundabouts. Such is life. Such is writing. 

Yia!
~Eleni x

Bleh Bleh Blah - the life of an author with CFS/Fibromyalgia

courtesy of Pixabay

So it's been months since I last posted on here. You guessed it, health got in the way yet again. I had been trialling a new medication that helps some people with fibromyalgia. I gave it a good go by being on it for almost 3 months. But it didn't agree with me so thus began the slow wean off the dratted thing.

I'm getting back to my 'normal' low energy self instead of the zero energy self I found myself as. So even though life can be tough where I'm at, I'm grateful at what I do have as it could easily be less.

Having a long time health condition is a marathon and at times all you want to do is sprint and other times, pitch a tent and not move for a while. That is really the CFS curve. When you find even a little more energy you want to sprint ahead and use it before the norm of less comes back to you. The problem is that the sprint may cause you to go lower than even your normal levels. So it's a juggle and making plans is not easy when the energy levels can change from one moment to the next.

Frustrating?! You bloody bet.

While I'm not 'back' per se, I am feeling better. I'm working in baby steps with all things in my life. The one constant has been reading, thanks in large part to audio books. I've read way more than I would have expected with such a low year. Again, I'm grateful.

One aspect of my life that has suffered is not only writing but my being involved in my writing groups. I haven't been on social  media that often as I find it tires me out quickly and that energy can be spent elsewhere. Goodreads is the place I frequent most often ATM.

Obviously this blog has suffered because as much as I want to, I feel like I don't have much to say other than how I'm feeling and really that can get to be a drag. I occasionally do a post like this to update you all and also in a way to educate people about long term conditions. I know having this condition and having had family with long term conditions has made be more sympathetic to others. Though I have to practice patience at times even with myself.

Be well!

~Eleni x

Life and curve balls

courtesy of Pixabay

I started the year off great on my reading blog and then it all fizzled. I've been feeling like I'm on a merry-go-round - with family commitments and health issues. I did break this up with a bit of design work and decluttering, but on the whole it's been of a struggle from February.

Thank goodness for audio books, which has kept my reading going and kept me sane.

This past week I've restarted doing the final polish of the Novel-That-Will-Not-End. Only small steps but I'm grateful for even that.

I'm baby stepping with everything in my life. It helps me achieve things in a manageable way without overwhelming myself. It's been a long time since I've had CFS and Fibromyalgia and still I struggle with trying to do too much on my good days. I want to forge ahead with all my writing and design projects, with housework, with well everything I can think of  - but this will inevitably lead me to be exhausted physically and mentally.

So, baby steps.

In that tradition, I've done a blog post over at Eleni's Library, continuing reviewing my 2016 reading - this time with series that I enjoyed last year.

I'll continue with my final polish work and submit it before working on other projects. My hope is that my creative brain space will be freed up by doing this.

Be well, my blog readers, and hopefully the next post won't be so long in the making.


~Eleni x

Stepping back

I had two amazing conferences in August - the Get Fresh in '15 Romance Writers of Australia conference in Melbourne (go team!) and the Love Thrills Romance Writers of New Zealand conference in Auckland.

I spent a lot of time networking and talking to people - catching up with old friends and making new ones, and generally having a great time doing this.

But it also made me realise that it's time for me to step back from major volunteer work. I had mentioned in an earlier post how I had been struggling for a while now. This was brought home to me when I was exhausted really before the conference in Melbourne properly began. I remember thinking 'how am I going to do this for another year?'

The simple answer is that I couldn't. So thanks to the help of some wonderful friends in RWA who had seen my struggles, I have been able to step away from my two major roles in the organisation, keeping only smaller roles to keep me giving back. I'd wanted to continue as I'd given my commitment but in the end the best for everyone was for me to remove myself from the roles and allow people who are fresh at them.

I'm in handover mode and once this is done, I'll be reviewing my writing direction and seeing where best to put my energies. In the meantime, I'm enjoying reading again - I hadn't been able to read as I'd been falling asleep as I was so tired and anything I did read wasn't being absorbed.

All rugged up for an early morning walk in
New Zealand - used to seeing AM from
the other side.

I have also stopped studying for the moment - and really I'll review if I'll go back. I think I garnered what I needed from Tafe and while I didn't earn my qualification, that hadn't been the reason I'd been studying - in fact, I'd gone in with the idea that I wouldn't earn a qualification and study as long as it suited my purpose of developing some design skills to help with HelzKat Designs, which I have. I'm not going on to a design studio so the qualification isn't the important factor. I'd also been there long enough to see the course change and change again that it wasn't the original course I'd signed up for.

The truth of the matter is I have only so much energy and on good days, fabulous, I can do a lot of what I want to achieve, but good days are not my norm. I have okay days on the whole, but CFS and Fibromyalgia can change how I feel from moment to moment. It's not easy to adjust to this- I still struggle after so many years - but every so often, I'm reminded that it's not only okay to rest, but it's absolutely necessary.

I have missed blogging and talking to you all and sharing. So I'll be back online when my time is my own again.

~Yia~